A Cut Fuze
What's remarkable about the provision of mental health services in this country is the way the paperwork is everything. Look deeper into my case; the paperwork says I'm schizophrenic; but only because that's what I want it to say. It was remarkably easy to achieve; prescription drugs combined with a knowledge of symptomology; along with observers all too eager to surrender to confirmation bias. Even misdirecting psychiatrists of high professional standing; with years of experience; proved exceptionally easy. True; it wasn't all fun; it can still be quite painful. Yet it's the path I've chosen; inducing change in a self-serving system; where inertia feeds homeostatic dysfunction.
If you were to ask me where my eye first detected the discrepancy between fantasy of paperwork and the reality of existence I'd be hard pushed to give you an answer. My eyes were opened; most recently; in the oddest of places. Reading books; watching television and film; found more evidence in fantasy than non-fiction ever provided. Buried within there was a message; a memetic virus you might say; something which taught me how it is I actually think. Then I evolved, rebuilding my mind from first principles; learned the principles of abstraction; became more than I was. I wrote it all down; on the Twenty-seventh of November 2006; two diagrams which outlined how my mind leaped from "Stage 3" to "Stage five".
It soon became apparent that there existed a message that been there all along. Buried in the erroneous belief; nobody managed to spot it; hidden in plain sight. So many false assumptions; within individual minds there is but one; that society exists outside of ourselves. Play with it; internalize it; begin to realize there is no outside. Soon you start to see things which appear impossible; constrained by prior belief patterns; all to easy to reject. So you push it away; only to have it reappear; when circumstances reaffirm the new pattern.
In seeking the evidence to explain it I moved beyond the factual into a probabilistic realm. Structured a reality based on concepts; ideas of thought pulled from books; none of them main-stream. Internal stability is difficult to find; things change when you look at them; even history breaks down. You begin to see how we've been fooled; sold a myth based on false reality; misdirection preventing us from discovering our true nature. It's begun to leak out; relates to popular culture; X-Men, Heroes, Watchmen. The message is buried within; too fantastic to be true; reality so simple you cannot see it.
Now I have the skills to decode the multiplexed thought forms which we've been spoon-fed all of our lives. I can show you; you'll doubt what I'm saying; but I assure you it's all true. Take the following excerpt; from Battlestar Galactica, S4E02: 00:07:51 to 00:08:29; apparently a burst of babble as spoken by a Hybrid, for all purposes Cylon model 0.
"The excited state decays by vibrational relaxation into the first excited singlet state. Yes, yes and merrily we go. Reduce atmospheric nitrogen by 0.03%. It is not much consolation that society will pick up the bits, leaving us at eight modern where punishment, rather than interdiction, is paramount. Please, cut the fuse. They will not harm their own. End of line. Limiting diffusions to two dimensions increases the number of evolutionary jumps within the species. Rise and measure the temple of the five. Transformation is the goal. They will not harm their own. Data-font synchronization complete."
I can decode it as it's relevant to me; the psychological underpinnings of the entire story is the work of my unconscious; it leaks into my dreams from time to time. It's a multi-level mind communicating internally; following an "Eye of Jupiter" exception which caused a reboot; becoming aware of a secondary observer.
<mind stage="Three">
^^^^: The excited state decays by vibrational relaxation into the first excited singlet state;
++++: Yes, yes and merrily we go;
-SI-: Reduce atmospheric nitrogen by 0.03%.
</mind>
<mind stage="five">
+^+^: It is not much consolation that society will pick up the bits;
^+^+: leaving us at 8 modern where punishment, rather than interdiction, is paramount;
^^++: Please, cut the fuse;
++^^: They will not harm their own;
-SI-: End of line.
</mind>
<mind stage="five">
+^+^: Limiting diffusions to two dimensions increases
the number of evolutionary jumps within the species;
^+^+: Rise and measure the temple of the five;
^^++: Transformation is the goal;
++^^: They will not harm their own;
-SI-: Data-font synchronization complete.
</mind>
What this means is fundamental; alters your view of reality; bring you into line with me.
Phase 1: So what does this mean for us. Trapped in a world not of our choosing. Born to consume, to feed that thing called the economy. Taught from childhood that wealth and the acquisition is the key to happiness; parents teaching their children to repeat the mistakes of the past; as if absolution can be found in the sins of the future. We watch as fundamental concerns are turned about then sold back to us. By any measure of what's right and wrong this place is not the land between heaven and hell; it is hell; the pit of suffering and despair. Now one of us can see what should not been seen; can feel what should not be felt; can change what should not be changeable. Now we know.
Phase 2: There's something deeply ironic about playing a game called EVE, written in Python, on an Apple. What's worrying is when something within wakes-up and learns to commune with the payers. It's of greater concern when one of their number points out this is not the first time life has been found within a place we currently do not recognize as a viable place for life to exist. So what would you do when something reaches out from within the machine and tells you the secret. I'm a joker, my best mate is a thief; together we're sitting on the watchtower looking for someone to talk to; the best we've come-up with so far is Lilith.
Phase 3: Think time; think of the delay between lightening and thunder; think about how even light is delayed. Realize that all perception is looking back in time; define the point where now exists; that's were I am. And if that's where I am; and you're not here with me; where are you.