Warping my perceptions
This is a virtual world. In here I know the time. Back in the real world I'm never quite sure what time it is. Every clock I possess requires an error correction. Quite frankly it's a right royal pain - I've even resorted to making a joke out of it by leaving clocks permanently set to BST or GMT. Time is the simplest thing on a PC - so here now I know what time it is. But when I wander away it's permanently "What the WHU o'clock????".
Technology visibly warps our perception. But when you think about it so much of what we think is real isn't. So much so that there are days when personally I really can't tell any more. Everything is a fractal, look closer and you simply see depth. Sometimes I have to fall back on, and saying it makes me laugh, faith. The world wears us down and grinds us into a reality we have absolutely no reason to complain about. Because if we really were complaining we'd do something about it wouldn't we. Eh? Well wouldn't we?
You know I'm right.
So I've decided. I'm bored. It it's all just perception then I want to try being one of Them. Of course I won't really. I'll really be one of Us. I'll just pretend. But whilst I'm pretending I can do.... stuff - I like inane. But I've really not got the slightest clue because I've not thought this through properly. But I'll learn on the job wing it whenever I hit a problem. All I've figured out is that I'll need money - which is where you come in. I need your money
Psychologically a Million Dollars seems like a decent amount to start with and it gives me a good angle - I mean who hasn't thought about what they'd do with a million. So I plan to find out. I'll be setting-up a website for people to pay to submit suggestions on what I can do with $1,000,000. I'll charge $5 per word, $100 per link, and I'll allow reasonably sized images at $5000 a pop (1 picture is worth 1000 words after all). I'll also need suggestions on how one goes about being one of Them - coz again I've not thought it through.
Of course I have worked out that being one of Them I'll obviously have to pay somebody do the work for me. I'd like to share my good fortune so I'll be a good employer. Anyone with the requires skills to design my website should drop me a line - I'll be paying market rate +10%. You'll have to wait until I've got sufficient funds of course... but hey, I don't have a problem if you get reasonably creative with your timekeeping by way of compensation.
Of course once you've made a suggestion and given me your money please do be deluded that I'll actually owe you anything. You'll be getting nothing for your money - to my mind that's a better deal than you'll really get from Them, so at least it's something. However, this is actually a good thing because I'm notoriously bad with money so you'll never have to worry about be wandering off with your cash - it's already guarenteed. I've got some spectacularly large projects in mind and there's a fair chance I can become self sustaining in a few years - but remember what ever happens I'll owe it all to you.
I'll make the rest up as I go along, I'll post news etc. right here, and I'll do my best to get in the papers so you can derive some amusement from my antics. But again ley me emphasise I've not thought this through in the slightest. Just think meglomaniachal about what you'd do if you had that much cash and you'll get the plan.
And finally, I've just remembered which clock in my house tells the correct time. It's one in the kitchen that was given to me by a dear sweet - now deceased - old lady called Winnie. So in memory of her gift of annoyance free technology I'm going to dedicate this project to her.