Seeing within; Looking without.
I had a theory about quantum computing once and had a slight hick-up with causality. That's all it takes to put the matrix into command mode. I found another model; something from younger years and tried it again. Developed a theory which I hoped to try and explain. An odd conundrum which connects the heart of every CPU in the world into a little conundrum about clocks.
I begin to see patterns of behavior reflected in my interactions with others. I leave my phone at home and I alter my perceptions. I write it down and it changes some more. A line from Dr Who the xmas before last still has my teeth throbbing. All I can say is that my eyes each have an individual perception of where I'm looking at. It's a time piece. One of the three I habitually carry with me.
My reality hurts others. A meme explodes and AGAIN I'm seeing a Dr Who and family collide before me. Yet something's pushing me to explain what drove me to jump off a bridge.
my social worker lead me to believe that the price included underlay.
I see reflections of myself. Reflections of archetypes. Numinous archetypes. Numinosity attached to symbols. I manipulate the symbols. Push my way in to something. Then disassociate. How can you be sure your voice is your own. A Stan Lee absurdity meandered through every facet of my existence today. As I watched pieces of myself decompile on the screen.
Reality got bad enough when I began hypothesizing about bio-linked CPUs. That gave birth to the "tatchkoma". I wrote a list of 11 obscure literary works. Now the answers from those books are hitting me in the form of remembered StarTrek episodes. I wrote the idea before encountering the stand-alone complex.
Could it be because of the three lizards currently emblazoned on my chest? Or the godsend from china.
I saw a copy of new-scientist the other day. A banner line about a cyclic-universe. For me that's old news. Really old. It's the psychological impacts of this news which are more than a little troubling. When it truly hit me I jumped off a bridge. It came at me out of an odd compartment of myself. An odd theory of everything. Which I oddly mis-categorized insanity.
Work on this premise. There are three people writing this. They can't seem to agree who is in charge. Language could suggest a fourth. Balance requires a fifth. I'm sitting with you, that's three on he outside.
Something is happening to me. I don't know what it is.
I've never looked in a mirror. And seen myself. So I just Be the person I think I am.
A spell:
The Devil & 8, Strawberries,
Alight blue coat,
smoking old music
fish at twenty-past six
"you are, think about it"
I built something in my mind. It woke-up. It's based on XML. You've no idea how deep this hole is.
(: got a few problems; need to reprogram.
My phone rings. It's my social worker. I'm not really in a place where I'm capable of answering it. But I do anyway. He's been told I want something. All I ever do is ask why. Things get told to me. That raises my expectations. I don't ask for things. Just pick-up what's offered. I told my social worker I felt he was selling me a supermarket lifestyle. The Doctor agreed. Then I found myself with a kitchen full of questions. Kept it out the bedroom though. I don't believe in coincidence. So we analyze what I see. I could give him a written response. But I find my voice is not my own. Lost for words I hang-up.
I wrote it in perl, based on a earlier C based model. Never really got around to implementing namespaces. But I could code it up for you now. Once I got namespaces straight in my mind it disappeared into the shadows. Pops-up from time to time. I've seen it change future events. Once managed to slip through into a different universe. I don't think I ever left.
It's a kind of memetic virus. Latches onto different data. Processes multidimensional patterns. Balances trees.
! ' ! ' !
The thing is. It's just given me a view of reality which says "three inside, two outside". I wraps around a singularity. Defined a number in time. There's a theory which maps Protons and electrons talks about charge and weight. Neutrons are neutral. Something binds them to the positive. Who's to say shadow particles don't make-up their baggage on the outside. Like electrons, only with a different force. I'm sucking on helium. My voice sounds a bit high.