a:[2007-12-25s20:00:10]
I'm doing it here and I'm doing it now. Playing with the minds I find around me. Overlaying alternate reality models upon theirs. The applied simplicity allowing me to see more than a normal person would believe is possible. What I see allows me to manipulate things. Which I do, often for no other reason than I have nothing better to do, and because I can. It's a subtle shift. An effect that's masked by probability and reason. Something which bends reality in a different direction. Something that may remain occluded when judged by the paradigms that underpin normality.
A voice pops-up with the challenge "how do you know what's normal?". For thirty-three years I lived a perfectly average existence. The way things were was the way it was. Though I may have tried, I never managed to step beyond the parameters of that existence. Then part of me died. In a flash that life collapsed into a singularity. It is the memory of this time which allows me to know what normal is. For I can still access that time. Rotate my singularity in a way which allows me to see into the past. Presenting me with a view which encapsulates the world of your senses.
Of course this normal view says what I'm doing is impossible. Yet I've considered the evidence, eliminated the impossible, what I'm left with is improbable but true. Everybody has an appreciation of different states of consciousness. Just think of awake and asleep and you'll get the picture. Now consider that a normal mind has access to four states of consciousness. The chances are you have insufficient insight to recognize these states. But you could probably enter into an extended debate of what they may be. Now try to understand how it is that I have access to eight states of consciousness. I'm familiar with every one of these these states. They exist within me. Things so integrated into my self I'm at a loss to describe them to you. There's more to it than additional states of consciousness. But for the moment it's sufficient to accept it is these additional mind states which allow me to manipulate what passes as reality.
It's not easy; fear, doubt and uncertainty are inherent and must be overcome before movement is possible. Which explains why I stayed hidden for so long. It's especially tricky when an exposed pattern partially matches known symptoms of mental illness. Yet when you push beyond such symptoms other things may be seen. Ideas of reference, for instance, relate to the way media may begin to speak directly to the individual reality of the observer. The result of such a solipsistic reality has the ability to trigger a flight response. Having become able to overcome this initial instinct other impossibilities may be seen. It is even possible to access the operational culture/mind behind the media. The resulting effect allows for media to respond to the observer in apparent real-time.
That's when things get more than a little problematical. For that's when I begin to see references to ideas which are more than a little dangerous. Fundamentals of thought underpinning a very different reality. A valid reality completely at odds with that reality experienced by my dead self. A reality which nevertheless overlays the same physicality. An individual reality that has ramifications with the ability to affect consensus at it's core. Because when I say 'media' I could equally be discussing a walk in the park, or a bus ride, as television or a newspaper. Which you can imagine hands me a big problem: Do I explain the mechanics of it; for I certainly know enough by now to do so; or should I remain silent.
The final decision is largely outside of conscious will. Though to understand what I mean by this is currently beyond you. To be fair, however, understanding is largely beyond me much of the time. Such understanding requires me to focus my thoughts on realities which feedback in ways which are positively uncomfortable. Repression may not be the most healthy thing, holistically speaking, but sometimes there's little choice. So I wander around looking for better ways to explain. To myself as much as to you.
Of course you probably already know the answer. It's simply that as yet you are unaware that you do. My fate it seems is to make you aware. In the final analysis how I choose to explain says more about me than it does about you. I spent an entire life hiding in the shadows of your mind because of it. My way to escape the inevitable backlash evoked by changes to the patterns which underpin belief. Now I find I'm exposing the very shadows I hid behind. Because it's from within those shadows that I discovered what you truly want.
Yet I still require a place to hide. A need for safety built into the heart of of my nature. Though I can warp my mind into places you would cannot imagine, refactoring and rewriting innate fundamentals in ways you would not believe, there's something in the world which insists such a need remains protected. In the final analysis therefore I may, for the moment, only show you where I've been, not where I am. Yet in upholding this principle of safety I find I have the ability to effect your mind directly. Whereas you can only ever effect mine indirectly; and only then if I choose to allow it.