I write;I think;I know.

[2008-06-05s14:23:21]

I am now able to effectively overcome much of my conditioning.  Yet without
direction I find I tend to reinforce it imprinted behaviour.  Leaves me lost, I
start thinking of numbers, three for instance; and worlds begin to unfold.  I
get to twelve and I see something that’s not quite right.  An imbalance
between expressed desires and what really goes on.  Whatever it is it evokes a
passive aggressive response. 

Okay; start with twelve; passive aggressive.

PROBLEM: re-conditioning; regression; 

Broaden perspective; express how the symbols are used
The things I struggle to describe [s]
Build a bridge; orientation of maps; hyper-dimensional surfaces 

As a genre largely focused on personal writing and contemplation, zuihitsu
writings tend to explore issues reflective of attitudes pervasive at the time
of their composition.

I recognized my model; from the outside; from inside my mind.